Norm Abram Has Good Hair

As you probably know, I'm rebuilding the staircase at our home. As a part of that project, Kerry and I were installing the handrail, which is a very expensive, sixteen-foot-long piece of solid cherry. I was to cut it to fit between the two newel posts I'd made previously.

We carefully measured the distance between the newels and marked directly on the handrail. I then made the fateful cut, exactly on the line. It came out beautifully. We eagerly clamped it in place to see how it looked. That's when Kerry mentioned that the top end looked a little low. I thought, "Huh, now that you mention it, it does look a little low." But what I said was,

"No, it's fine. It's right."

But she was right, it was low. I'd somehow measured incorrectly up the newel post, marking where the rail should hit far too low. Which means, of course, that when the rail is raised into position, it is far too short.

This is bad. The handrail was ruined; it was completely useless. It was very discouraging. I started to feel like I was out of my league, an amateur attempting a professional's job, and I said to Kerry,

"You get what you pay for, I guess."

Fast forward several days. I badly needed a haircut, something Kerry has always done for me. So I sit down, she grabs the clippers, and with one confident stroke, cuts the front of my hair so I look exactly like that guy from Dumb & Dumber.

So, like any good husband, I begin yelling. Although I'm difficult to take seriously with the ridiculous haircut, I guess, because she found the situation hilarious. When she finally mustered her wits about her enough to speak, she said,

"You get what you pay for."